Day #11 Children
"Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him." ~Psalm 127:3
"People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them." ~Mark 10:13-16
Children are such a blessing!
While that may be the overarching message, is every moment with a child a blessing? Of course not. Parenting is tough. Parenting is so tough.
We don't admit it to each other enough: Parenting is tough!
While we loved raising our four children who are now adults, one phase in particular stands out in my memory as one I did not enjoy. If you ventured a guess, you might say the awkward middle school years. No, that's not it. Rebellious teen years? While those periods did come with numerous challenges, my least favorite will probably surprise you.
A baby is born, and we embrace the newness of life. The cooing, smiling, and 16 hours a day sleeping come. We enjoy the next phase of scooting, which slowly (or quickly) evolves into crawling.
What comes next is my least favorite: I don't like the wobbly, teetering, on-the-brink-of-walking phase. Now, maybe that stems from growing up in a home with a marble-topped coffee table that caused each of us to have at least one lasting mark on our foreheads. As a mom, I felt helpless and breathless as I watched the hands grasp the edge of the couch or table, and the knees slowly come off the floor as the diapered-bottom gradually wiggled up higher and higher to finally (sort of) balance above the two chubby legs. Next, the bright eyes would see something just out of reach and gradually pivot in a new direction, leaving the solid support of the couch, like a sapling waving in a strong breeze. I breathlessly watched what came next. Would my child make it safely to something solid?--or would this adventure end in a crumbling, a crash, and a cry?
Our routine:
Assessment: What is the current condition of my relationship with my children?
What is the purpose of this relationship?
What is the state of this relationship? What is going well? What isn’t?
What changes need to be made to this relationship?
Adjustment: What is our current relationship with each of our children? What stages of life are our children in? What are we doing to help nurture and support their physical, emotional, spiritual growth?
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
Luke 2:52
"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."
Ephesians 6:1-3
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'--which is the first commandment with a promise--'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'"
Yes, children pass from that breathless stage, and they grow, and they grow so quickly! Our responsibility as parents is to help them to grow. We often do not focus enough on them growing in favor with God, and we focus a little (or a lot) too much on them growing in favor with man.
This analogy seems applicable: two ladders are set up parallel to each other, but a few feet apart. One ladder represents growing in favor with Almighty God; one ladder represents growing in favor with the world. While, for a time, individuals can rise up both ladders, but at some point they are going to be pulled to make a decision: on which ladder do they continue?
We don't want to be so set on the favor of man that we teach our children to ignore (or not make time for) our Creator. We need to make sure our children have a strong foundation in God's Word.
These next verses may be surprising, but one of the foundational messages we need to plant in our children's minds is the fact that they are loved. Little children so beautifully sing "Jesus Loves Me," and one of the first Bible verses they learn is John 3:16, but we also need to give them more of a picture of what is expected in the two greatest commandments of which Jesus spoke.
What does love actually look like on a day-to-day basis? The ladder of the world teaches primarily of romantic love. The love God offers, the love Jesus represents, the love the Holy Spirit is guiding us to is much deeper than what the world's depiction is. Realigning our relationship with each of our children requires a full understanding of love.
I Corinthians 13: 4-7, 13
- "Love is patient,
- love is kind.
- It does not envy,
- it does not boast,
- it is not proud.
- It does not dishonor others,
- it is not self-seeking,
- it is not easily angered,
- it keeps no record of wrongs.
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
- It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
When our children leave home, it almost brings parents back to a phase similar to what I called the "breathless" phase. This is the wobbly, breathless phase of seeing them reach for strong footings for their faith. Will they reach for more of what the world has to offer or will they be reaching for God's Word and Jesus' trusting hand?
At two different points in her life my mother-in-law has revealed this burden on her heart. The first was when she was facing cancer. She somewhat defiantly proclaimed, "I have to get through this because I need to see my kids and grandkids know the Lord."
The second time was just a month ago. We are facing some good days and some not-so-good days as she approaches her 90th birthday this coming October. When my husband and I visited her last, she struggled to recognize us, but she could still softly state her motherly, spiritual purpose, "I want my five kids to know Jesus."
It is never too late to work to right our relationships with our children. As children, it is never too late to right our relationships with our parents. Start this process by establishing a strong relationship with God. God's Holy Spirit would be happy to mediate the process.
Proverbs 22:6
"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
Prayer:
Almighty God, we thank You for our children. We thank You for the blessing that they are, and we thank You that Jesus showed us that He wants to know them and bless them. Guide us, Holy Spirit, to training them up in a knowledge of You. Help us to love them and help us to teach them to love. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." ~Romans 12:18
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